and I'm singing a broken hallelujah.

I recently had a conversation with a friend about how God could let "all this stuff happen." (sparing you details.) I told this person that I once heard that God doesn't even have to allow the good. Our  world is evil, we deserve the crap that we go through, and so much more. Can you imagine our world without God? Completely consumed in evil? God loves us, that's why He sent Jesus. But really, we don't deserve even the good things He blesses us with. As I was talking, I was just like woah God. You are speaking to me right now. I am so caught up in the horrible side of thigns, sometimes I just miss God's greatness. A lot of times.  We discussed how awesome people are that run to God in a time of complete brokeness. It's always our desire to do so, but it's SO easier said than done. We both agreed that there isn't anything else that would eternally fill brokeness besides the Almighty God. Job, for example, had it all going for him. God loved him and Job loved God and lived it out. Satan says there is no way Job would praise God if everything didn't go his way. God tells Satan that Job is faithful and to test him. God knew Job could persevere. Sometimes I like to think God says that about me. I am going through this because God knows I can persevere through it. Then I get really scared, I don't want to let Him down. Ya know?

My best friend told me to listen to a song titled "A Broken Hallelujah." It's so perfect.
It describes my life and relationship with God at this time in my life so perfectly. I know that He deserves all the praise, but it's coming from a broken heart. I know that all my praise and worship goes to Him, but ALL right now is just broken. Read it for yourself. It's beautiful.

When all that I can sing
is a broken hallelujah
when my only offering
is shattered praise
still a song of adoration
will rise up from these ruins
I will worship you and give you thanks
even when my only praise
is a broken hallelujah

I've registered for next semester, so I'm lined up for another semester at UMHB. Followed by five more, hopefully only five more :) I'm overwhemled with studying for the next three weeks, but God is good. There is peace in this chaos. Tonight we are having a girls night, totally excited. No class tomorrow, so we're going to just stay up and relax. WITHOUT TESTOTERONE, can I get an AMEN? (:  Alrighty, back to the books. Aim to please Christ.

Love.