and she's seeing the throne of God.

¹After this I looked, and there before me was a door standing open in heaven. And the voice I had first heard speaking to me like a trumpet said, "Come up here, and I will show you what must take place after this." ²At once I was in the Spirit, and there before me was a throne in heaven with someone sitting on it.³And the one who sat there had the appearance of jasper and carnelian. A rainbow, resembling an emerald, encircled the throne. ⁴Surrounding the throne were twenty-four other thrones, and seated on them were twenty-four elders. They were dressed in white and had crowns of gold on their heads. ⁵From the throne came flashes of lightning, rumblings and peals of thunder. Before the throne, seven lamps were blazing. These are the seven spirits^[a] of God. ⁶Also before the throne there was what looked like a sea of glass, clear as crystal.
   In the center, around the throne, were four living creatures, and they were covered with eyes, in front and in back. ⁷The first living creature was like a lion, the second was like an ox, the third had a face like a man, the fourth was like a flying eagle. ⁸Each of the four living creatures had six wings and was covered with eyes all around, even under his wings. Day and night they never stop saying: "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was, and is, and is to come." ⁹Whenever the living creatures give glory, honor and thanks to him who sits on the throne and who lives for ever and ever, ¹⁰the twenty-four elders fall down before him who sits on the throne, and worship him who lives for ever and ever. They lay their crowns before the throne and say:
 ¹¹"You are worthy, our Lord and God,
   to receive glory and honor and power,
   for you created all things,
      and by your will they were created
      and have their being."

This is Revelation 4. Amazing huh? My mamoo is standing at His throne.

Hey Mamoo,

can't believe you are dancing with Jesus already! I just am so jealous! As much as I wish you were here, I know you wouldn't dare  want to come back after what you've seen. I miss you like crazy already. I am not sure what I am going to do without you here.  I looked up to you more than you'll ever know. I tried to expain it several times, but words do not do it justice. I will definitely miss our "mamoo and nicki" times. Sitting out on the back porch until late hours, then going inside to finish our conversation while eating cookies and milk. Joking about pushing you down the hill in your wheel chair (I know you are sad you missed out on that!) All our games of skip-bo and yahtzee. You taught us all the importance of family, and to stick by each other through it all. I will miss our long long phone calls about life. I'll keep you updated, don't even worry. I'm sorry I never got to take you to Hawaii like I promised. But I know you could care less after seeing heaven. I don't know who is going to push me in the middle of my back and tell me to sit up straight! I am so thankful to have you as my mamoo, a best friend, really. I wish every granddaughter had a mamoo. I hope I can become half the woman you were. I love you with all my heart, I'll be there with you soon.

"love you much,"

nicki

and I'm falling apart.

It's finals week. That in itself is completely stressful, I think most would agree. HOWEVER, this finals week brings an extra challenge. I know there is a plan behind this chaos. I'm ready to get home to my family. This is the stinky part of growing up and being away from home. It's weeks like this that make it hard to find peace. It's hard to be joyful. But I also know, there is joy in suffering... just trying to find it. God's plan will aways be what's best, I will never ever doubt that. He's stretching me this week. COMPLETELY. He's showing me what I am capable of, and He is reminding me of the wonderful people He's placed in my life. PLEASE pray for my family this week, and that I can get finals finished with a decent grade.

I will be finished with my first year of college on Friday. I feel old, I dislike it, but I'm SO ready.

love.

and I want to show her love.

Ann Wanjiru Waithera
She's from Kenya.
She's 4 years old.
We share a birthday.
She's my compassion child.

compassion.com

and I don't always get my way.

These next couple of weeks are going to be murder. It's the end of the semester and my hardest class (A&P II) is showing no signs of letting up. This morning was a rough morning for me. HOWEVER, when my world comes falling apart (or at least I feel like it is) I call the one person that can put it back together, my mommy. I'd lose my mind if it wasn't for her wisdom and patience. She doesn't let the little things bring any of us down. Hey, mommy, we  need a new picture together by the way ;) So after she calmed me down, I took a second to find that joy that I know is possible in every situation. So my day turned great, and I'm bound and determined to have a wonderful week, despite the beginning.


I found out today that I should be finished with final's by April 30th. I don't know, however, when that puts me back in Tolar. I'll stay around, work some and play some. I am craving an Alvin Ords chicken salad sandwhich, and refuse to sleep until I eat one. I am having trouble believing that I've almost been out of high school for a year. A year at college, really? Mind = BLOWN. I love it though. I always say, I'm livin' the dream. Because, I believe, that I am. My best friend graduates at the end of May. I feel like a proud mamma, but really it's more of just a proud best friend, proud sister. Life away from her is a killer, but this year has proven to me that we'll never be less than best friends. My cousin Kayla is also graduating, and holy cow. I'm so proud. She's done what most don't. I'll always look up to her for her perseverance during this year.

I'm very much anticipating my summer at Falls Creek. It's been my push lately. It's going to be such a wonderful summer. Don't worry, I'll blog it up to y'all (: ANYWAY, I can taste summer, it tastes so sweet. How on earth did I go to school so long growing up!? haha. I can barely make it two more weeks! :-)

I am SO ready for summer, but it helps knowing when it's over that I'll be back with my UMHB family. Living with precious, dear-to-my-heart, girls. Jake will be back in Belton, for good. Life will get crazy, but still be sweet.

Do I really need to say it again? I'm livin' the dream, folks.

LOVE.

and formal deserves a blog.

Formal was last weekend, It was SUCH a blast! I'm not a big "dresser-upper" but every now and then doesn't hurt. It was the best work out I've had in a long time, constantly dancing! Gotta love it. From Jason driving us, to an after party at the creek. The night was marvelous. Here's some pictures.

These would be my friends closest and dearest to my heart <3

I love them because they are silly, point proven? (:

God has blessed me with strong friendships with these people.

These girls are my roommates!

We are looking forward to makin' Tryon 8203 our home <3

I'm excited to have a party apartment, non stop dance parties,

and continue to grow in friendships that last a life time <3

My boyfriend and (basically)brother <3

They make life fun!

Nicole and I got our dance on, if you can not tell (:

Dancing the night away at formal, SO FUN.

This group of people makes life at UMHB fun.

I love 'em all.

Jake and I at formal <3

We clean up well if I say so myself!

and I'm singing a broken hallelujah.

I recently had a conversation with a friend about how God could let "all this stuff happen." (sparing you details.) I told this person that I once heard that God doesn't even have to allow the good. Our  world is evil, we deserve the crap that we go through, and so much more. Can you imagine our world without God? Completely consumed in evil? God loves us, that's why He sent Jesus. But really, we don't deserve even the good things He blesses us with. As I was talking, I was just like woah God. You are speaking to me right now. I am so caught up in the horrible side of thigns, sometimes I just miss God's greatness. A lot of times.  We discussed how awesome people are that run to God in a time of complete brokeness. It's always our desire to do so, but it's SO easier said than done. We both agreed that there isn't anything else that would eternally fill brokeness besides the Almighty God. Job, for example, had it all going for him. God loved him and Job loved God and lived it out. Satan says there is no way Job would praise God if everything didn't go his way. God tells Satan that Job is faithful and to test him. God knew Job could persevere. Sometimes I like to think God says that about me. I am going through this because God knows I can persevere through it. Then I get really scared, I don't want to let Him down. Ya know?

My best friend told me to listen to a song titled "A Broken Hallelujah." It's so perfect.
It describes my life and relationship with God at this time in my life so perfectly. I know that He deserves all the praise, but it's coming from a broken heart. I know that all my praise and worship goes to Him, but ALL right now is just broken. Read it for yourself. It's beautiful.

When all that I can sing
is a broken hallelujah
when my only offering
is shattered praise
still a song of adoration
will rise up from these ruins
I will worship you and give you thanks
even when my only praise
is a broken hallelujah

I've registered for next semester, so I'm lined up for another semester at UMHB. Followed by five more, hopefully only five more :) I'm overwhemled with studying for the next three weeks, but God is good. There is peace in this chaos. Tonight we are having a girls night, totally excited. No class tomorrow, so we're going to just stay up and relax. WITHOUT TESTOTERONE, can I get an AMEN? (:  Alrighty, back to the books. Aim to please Christ.

Love.

and I'm livin' a fairytale.

Life is so hectic sometimes, but when I just take the time to sit and be still. It just becomes so simple. Life is so sweet, so delicate. I get all worked up over a test when, in reality, it is JUST A TEST. Sometimes (ok, a lot of times) I forget that my view should be ETERNITY. My everyday aim should be to please Him (2 Cor. 5:9) Life get's busy sometimes, but that doesn't change my aim.

:-) Life is happy, people. One step at a time, the end of the semester is near. I'm so excited for my summer at Falls Creek.

Love.

and Jesus lives, folks.

Easter was so happy! It was a perfect mix of the greatest people I know! Thursday evening I went home and just hung out with the fam. We have a wii now and wii like to play. Bowling, actually. Wii love bowling :) Friday I woke up late in the morning in time to get ready and meet Janelle for lunch. Can I just tell you that I need that girls day more than anything!? We ate lunch, had a tad bit of shopping then went and saw the ever-so-sad "The Last Song." Miley rocked it, so I thought. We cried, I made fun of Nell crying, etc. OH! The Odem's were there, so I got to catch up with them a little bit. Some things really never change, thank goodness for them! Anyway, Jake arrived towards the end of the movie in Granbury, so he was there when we got out! Yippee! We all went to Tolar, stuck our feet in the pool and just lolly gagged around. Janelle had to leave for acteens :( boo. Staci, Jake and I went to wallyworld to buy more wii remotes (we're addicted people) and we played until late in the evening! So fun :-)

Saturday was just filled with fun, that perfect combination of people :) Staci's best friend, Holly, came over and we dyed eggs, just like the good ole' days! My sister had to have her way, and I was reminded (yet again) we have a new and improved teenager on our hands. Get ready world! We (as in Jake and I) went to the park saturday night to play tag with a bunch-o college kids. Yeah, we're grown up. It was fun to hang out with everyone from home and just be silly.

Sunday! IT WAS EASTER! yay :) mommy made a wonderful lunch for us all, then I headed back to Belton! Hung out with my friends and just caught up, always a good time. Always laughter! The week is just flying by, it's already Tuesday, really!? :)

I'm really just soakin' life up lately. Realizing that this won't last forever, so live it up. :) Summer time is getting closer by the day, and I'm afraid I have that summer fever! Bring the heat, literally :)

SORRY! I'm so boring, I will try live a more exciting life :)

love.

OH! and I've decided I'm going to get better at taking pictures. I used to be better at capturing moment that I wanted to remember forever, now I suck at it. Time to change that :) ok? OK.

and work makes me blog (:

This week has been wonderfully filled with softball, getting an apartment (shrills and shrills), late night mickey d's and friends. I'm living the dream, people.

This weekend will be grand with my family, Janelle and Jake. Happy Easter!